By Christine Spencer,
GRANDcares Site Facilitator, Maui County
There are so many
beautiful things about the holidays, yet they can be so taxing. And our
intensive efforts to make them enjoyable can overwhelm us. It is not a
surprise that this time of year can bring on depression for many people.
With a huge emphasis on
“family” this time of year, feelings of stress build up well until past the New
Year. But, regardless of the season,
STRESS about your FAMILY is OK and normal.
Most people feel stressed out about their families, especially during
the holiday season. The best thing to do is to PREPARE AHEAD to prevent
sinking into the sea of sadness or depression. One simple thing to do, is
to remind yourself that you are not alone in feeling this way. Most
people are sensitive about their families. A recent Popular Science article
stated, “There isn’t much hard data on this, but several experts told Popular
Science that many or most people feel some degree of stress surrounding
their families. And though some people stress about it more than others because
of their personalities or family history, the stress itself is a “very normal”
feeling, says Pamela Regan, a psychology professor
at California State University in Los Angeles.”
All families bring their
pasts, conflicts and baggage to the dinner table for the holidays. However,
grandfamilies have their own set of unique challenges. One of the greatest
concerns, is the risk of the grandparent caregivers’ health to decline. This could be compounded with already present
health concerns for grandparents, who become parents again later in
their lives. Everybody knows that stress
is terrible for our health. We can spend
weeks upon weeks in our minds dreading something until it happens. I do this too. Then I find myself swept off shore by the
undercurrent into an ocean of emotions. What
if I just stayed on the shore in the first place? And dealt with these emotions
a little better? We really can improve
our ability to manage difficult emotions such as anger, guilt, and
depression. It may just take a little practice
and planning. Plan ahead to find
additional support for yourself this holiday season. There are networks of community resources
available for grandparents raising their grandchildren. GRANDcares program on Maui and Big Island have upcoming
workshops for this time of year, “Managing Holiday Stress for Grandparents
Raising Their Grandchildren” on December 7th at Maui College and on January
9th at Makawao Library from 10 a.m. -11:30 a.m. Check out our FB page GRANDCARES HAWAII for more information and to register for our upcoming workshops. Or email grandcaresmaui@gmail.com. Workshops on Big Island will be held on December 8th from 4:30-6:00 p.m. at a Kona Church and on December 9th from 10:00-11:30 a.m. at Ulu Wini Housing Complex. For more information or to register call 808-987-1252.
GRANDcares program and
classes are based on the Powerful Tools for Caregivers™ program, which has
reached over 70,000 family caregivers in 34 states and has proven to have a
positive impact. This holiday season,
forget about wrapping yourself up in depression, get out there and find the
tools you need for managing stress and difficult emotions.
The best gift of all, can be the gift to give more to yourself.
Wishing you a stress-free holiday season!
Citation:
Ossoloa, Alexandra. Why
Are Holidays With Your Family So Stressful? November 25, 2015
https://www.popsci.com/why-are-families-particularly-stressful-during-holidays
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