Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator
In
January 2017, seven people attended the GRANDcares Powerful Tools for
Caregivers (PTC) Co-Leader Training in Loveland. For two full days, participants learned how
to teach the PTC – Grandfamilies curriculum. Among the seven people at the
training were two very special participants: Gail Engel and Rhonda Sharp. Gail and Rhonda are both kinship caregivers.
Gail cares for her grandson and Rhonda cares for her nephews. Both had already taken the PTC –
Grandfamilies class as participants, and inspired by the class, they decided to
train as facilitators to be able to teach others in similar situations. Gail
and Rhonda have completed the leadership training, and now Rhonda is signed up
to co-lead our next PTC – Grandfamilies class starting March 30th. Gail is in line to teach a future class in
the fall as well. We were so inspired by
these two women that we decided to interview them about their experiences with
PTC and their desire to move forward as leaders.
Jana: Why did you
decide to get trained as a PTC – Grandfamilies co-leader?
Gail: I am so passionate
about what PTC taught me. From the very
beginning, when I first learned about PTC, I thought it was something that
grandparents needed. In my job, I work
with these families, and I have the experience.
I know their stories, and I could see how families could benefit from
the class.
Rhonda: I wanted to share what I learned
in the class and to help other people see that they’re not alone. The class
helped me a lot, and I wanted to pass it forward.
Jana: What did you learn by
getting trained as a facilitator for PTC that you might not have learned as a
participant?
Gail: Anytime you put
your foot in the other shoe, you see a different side of something. When I was in the class, I only took things
out of the class that pertained to me, but as a leader, you realize that while
it might not pertain exactly to me, it could pertain to other people.
Rhonda: People are coming from so many different backgrounds that you
have to be understanding and open. When
you’re taking the class it’s about you, but when you teach it, it’s about the
people in your class.
Jana: What are your
thoughts about PTC alumna getting trained in PTC and then
helping to lead these classes for other grandparents?
Gail: It’s a really
great thing because they understand the situation of the grandparents in the
class. One of the biggest issues
grandparents face is outside people not understanding their situation. Until you’ve walked in those shoes, you
really don’t get it. Having a
grandparent leading the class helps you know that somebody else gets it.
Rhonda: I can see it being really hard in many
cases for grandparents to put one more thing on their plate, but this is also
really important. Grandparents in the
class can trust that the things I’m teaching work because I am there applying
them to my life too. We are the ones in
the trenches, so we understand what it’s like better than anybody else. We have practical experience with the tools
and skills the class teaches, and we know what it’s really like. When I talk about stuff, I’m actually living
it too!
Jana: What do you hope that other grandparents
raising grandchildren will take away from the class?
Gail: Stop blaming
yourself and thinking that you’re the only one who has made these mistakes and
who experiences these things. When
something goes wrong, we stick our heads in the sand and think that we have to
live with it, but really I didn’t screw up, someone else did. I also hope
grandparents learn that they aren’t alone and that they make friendships that
they take outside the class.
Rhonda:
You need support, and you’re not in this alone.
So often you feel isolated and that we don’t have anyone to support
us. We feel like we can’t really talk about it with other people because they won’t
get it or they’re judging us. But there are groups
available where you can find other people who understand and who you can laugh
with about your overwhelming situation. Also, a lot of grandparents feel guilty because they feel
overwhelmed and burdened---and you think you’re not supposed to feel that way
about someone you love. You can get sucked in
this role of being the martyr, but rather think, “Maybe I can do this.”
Jana: What has changed for
you since taking the PTC class?
Gail: Taking a nap! I gave myself permission to say to my grandson
that he can play on his tablet and that I’m going to take a nap. I gave myself permission to say it’s okay and
that I don’t have to beat myself up about it.
I’m a better person because I’ve allowed myself to have my own quality
time and because I’m doing something for myself. This is Me Time, and I’m going to enjoy
it. This then gives more meaning to the
other things I do.
Rhonda: The goal I made in the class was to get my passion and joy of
life back. I’m not fully there yet, but I’ve put things in motion. I used the
tools from the class to get resources and get support, and I’ve got more hope
that I’ll get there. Finding a supportive
community has also helped a lot.
We really appreciate Rhonda and Gail talking with us about
their experiences with the PTC – Grandfamilies class, both as participants and
leaders. They are invaluable members of
our team, and we appreciate their courage to lead this class and their
commitment to their fellow kinship caregivers. You are in inspiration to us
all!
If after reading this, you are thinking that you might be
interested in leading or participating in an upcoming PTC – Grandfamilies class,
please feel free to contact me (Jana Carson) by phone at 970-491-8204 or by
email at Jana.Carson@colostate.edu.
