Practice the Gratitude Attitude over the Holidays

By: Ellen O’Kelley, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Big Island, Hawai’i

I have always loved this time of year.  Even in Hawaii you see and feel the signs of the Holiday season all around.  We may not have snow, but we do have beautifully lit homes, glistening oceans in every shade of blue you can imagine, stores filled to the brim with all the greatest toys and oh those tech gadgets.  Families (“ohana” in Hawai’ian) start to gather, the cooking and baking begins, children practice for their holiday pageants, the party invitations start coming, presents to mail, cards to send, perfect cookies for Santa and the list keeps growing.

For 0ver 15 years I would get bronchitis and laryngitis sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas lasting until January.  Any way you look at it the holidays can be stressful leading us to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, sometimes causing illness and depression.   A very special Doctor shared with me the concept of Attitude of Gratitude and I haven’t had bronchitis for 20 years.   Go figure.

Robert Emmons, PHD defines gratitude as “a sense of wonder, thoughtfulness and appreciation for life,” Recent research indicates that gratitude is good for the giver.  For some, gratitude is a way of life, for others it can be learned.  To boost gratitude focus on the positive, write your thoughts down in a gratitude journal and make a gratitude visit to those you care about.

The idea that gratitude can be healing is not new.  Dr. Whaley, Kaiser Psychiatrist, has found,” people who are more grateful exercise more, sleep better and have better immune function.  Practicing gratitude strengthens relationships, and protects against envy, materialism, depression and substance abuse.  Gratitude is also a source of resilience in the face of our daily stresses as well as a source of healing after personal tragedies.

This week I had the pleasure of meeting a very special Grandmother who despite very challenging circumstances embodied this concept.  I’m sure she didn’t realize it but I was reminded that an Attitude of Gratitude can be better than any medication you can try.  I think I will have a bronchitis free Christmas for at least another 20 years.

Opioids and Grandfamilies

Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Larimer County

Cities across the United States have been greatly affected by what is being called the "opioid epidemic."  This national crisis many times ropes grandparents into the issue, as they become the primary caregiver for grandchildren whose parents have succumbed to these drugs. Grandparents then work to balance this new caregiving role while also struggling to watch their own child go through the ravages of an opioid addiction.  (Read this AARP article for more accounts about how opiods are affecting grandfamilies: https://www.aarp.org/health/drugs-supplements/info-2017/opiates-addiction-grandparents-raising-grandchildren.html)

If you are a grandparent raising a grandchild in Colorado as a result of opioid use, you may be interested in attending an upcoming meeting being hosted in Denver on December 28th from 11:30 am - 1:30 pm by the Colorado Department of Regulatory Agencies.  This meeting will discuss potential updates to the Policy for Prescribing and Dispensing Opioids and is designed to help the Colorado healthcare licensing boards understand more about the opinions, needs, and recommendations of Coloradans affected by opioid use.

There are three ways to provide your input:

1) You can attend the meeting in person at 1560 Broadway, Conference Room 110D, Denver, CO 80202 

2) You can register to participate in the online webinar by going to this link: https://register.gotowebinar.com/register/3171328372483777537

3) You can provide written comments before or after the meeting by sending them to holli.weaver@state.co.us

Click this link to view the full meeting announcement: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1abOhDzp_BlqrAuAG0waBtw5n-7p070Dr/view

If you or your family is somehow affected by opiod use, make your voice heard!

Added Note on 2/15/18: We later found this video where Senetor Baldwin recounts her own story about being raised by her grandparents as a result of opioids. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9zcxtnNaaY&feature=youtu.be

Prepare Ahead for Holiday Stress

By Christine Spencer, GRANDcares Site Facilitator, Maui County

There are so many beautiful things about the holidays, yet they can be so taxing. And our intensive efforts to make them enjoyable can overwhelm us.  It is not a surprise that this time of year can bring on depression for many people. 

With a huge emphasis on “family” this time of year, feelings of stress build up well until past the New Year.  But, regardless of the season, STRESS about your FAMILY is OK and normal.  Most people feel stressed out about their families, especially during the holiday season.  The best thing to do is to PREPARE AHEAD to prevent sinking into the sea of sadness or depression.  One simple thing to do, is to remind yourself that you are not alone in feeling this way.  Most people are sensitive about their families.  A recent Popular Science article stated, “There isn’t much hard data on this, but several experts told Popular Science that many or most people feel some degree of stress surrounding their families. And though some people stress about it more than others because of their personalities or family history, the stress itself is a “very normal” feeling, says Pamela Regan, a psychology professor at California State University in Los Angeles.”

All families bring their pasts, conflicts and baggage to the dinner table for the holidays.  However, grandfamilies have their own set of unique challenges. One of the greatest concerns, is the risk of the grandparent caregivers’ health to decline.  This could be compounded with already present health concerns for grandparents, who become parents again later in their lives.  Everybody knows that stress is terrible for our health.  We can spend weeks upon weeks in our minds dreading something until it happens.  I do this too.  Then I find myself swept off shore by the undercurrent into an ocean of emotions.  What if I just stayed on the shore in the first place? And dealt with these emotions a little better?  We really can improve our ability to manage difficult emotions such as anger, guilt, and depression.  It may just take a little practice and planning.  Plan ahead to find additional support for yourself this holiday season.  There are networks of community resources available for grandparents raising their grandchildren.  GRANDcares program on Maui and Big Island have upcoming workshops for this time of year, “Managing Holiday Stress for Grandparents Raising Their Grandchildren” on December 7^th at Maui College and on January 9^th at Makawao Library from 10 a.m. -11:30 a.m.  Check out our FB page GRANDCARES HAWAII for more information and to register for our upcoming workshops.  Or email grandcaresmaui@gmail.com. Workshops on Big Island will be held on December 8th from 4:30-6:00 p.m. at a Kona Church and on December 9th from 10:00-11:30 a.m. at Ulu Wini Housing Complex.  For more information or to register call 808-987-1252.

GRANDcares program and classes are based on the Powerful Tools for Caregivers™ program, which has reached over 70,000 family caregivers in 34 states and has proven to have a positive impact.  This holiday season, forget about wrapping yourself up in depression, get out there and find the tools you need for managing stress and difficult emotions. 

The best gift of all, can be the gift to give more to yourself.   

Wishing you a stress-free holiday season!

Citation:

Ossoloa, Alexandra. Why Are Holidays With Your Family So Stressful? November 25, 2015

https://www.popsci.com/why-are-families-particularly-stressful-during-holidays

We Are Thankful!

By Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Larimer County

As Thanksgiving approaches, we at the GRANDcares Project have a lot to be thankful for!  Many great things have been happening recently that we are excited to share with you!  Looking ahead, there are also many things to be grateful about as well.

Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies Classes

Two different cohorts, one in Larimer County and the other in Adams County, have wrapped up the last of their Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies sessions. These groups were fantastic! We really enjoyed getting to know each of the grandparents, helping them learn more self-care techniques, and connecting them to a variety of community resources!  We are especially thankful for Gail Engle, one of the Larimer County class co-leaders who is also a grandparent raising a grandchild! 

Recognized in the News!

Speaking of Gail Engel, she recently won the 7Everyday Hero award from Denver7 News for her work with Grand Family Coalition! Click here to view the video. She also won a Community Service Award from Group Publishing!  See her picture on their website here. Gail’s non-profit works to help grandparents in Northern Colorado connect with each other through support groups and grandfamily-friendly events.  She now has a support group for Spanish speakers as well. Gail also works to connect grandfamilies with resources in the community.  Her experience (both personally and professionally) with the system makes Grand Family Coalition an invaluable resource for grandfamilies.  For more information, visit the website at https://grandfamilycoalition.com/.

Gail was also recently featured in a Family Leaderships Training Institute (FLTI) of Colorado article (Click here to read the article) for her work with Larimer County Alliance for Grandparents (LCAG).  Dr. Christine Fruhauf, one of the Principal Investigators for the GRANDcares Project’s research was also featured in the article.

Upcoming Classes Planned

Larimer County has an upcoming Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies evening class planned for the Spring.  It will be held on Wednesdays, January 24^th – March 7^th from 5:00 – 7:00pm at Mountain View Presbyterian Church in Loveland. Dinner will be provided from 4:30 – 5:00pm, and childcare will be available while grandparents are in class.  To register, call Jana Carson at 970-491-8204 or email at jana.carson@colostate.edu.

Additionally, the Maui County site will be hosting a Managing Holiday Stress for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren workshop on December 7 from 10:00 - 11:00 am at Maui College and they are planning another mini-workshop on stress management for grandparents early next year in upcountry Makawao. You can register by emailing Christine Spencer at grandcaresmaui@gmail.com. 

We hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Positive Youth Development on the Big Island

In South Kona, on the Big Island, Powerful Tools for Caregivers- Grandfamilies, kicked off their first cohort in June 2017. Three grandmothers or “tutus” as we say in Hawai’i participated in GRANDcares program.  

Melony Tavares, a tutu from Big Island brought her three grandkids to one of the classes. During the classes for grandparents,  there are planned 4-H activity for the grandchildren. An aspiring elementary school teacher, Kili Kunitomo, supervised the activity. Kili’s planned activity for the grandchildren was to make slime. This slime consisted of glue, contact solution, baking soda, and food coloring.  

Making slime, is considered “messy play”, and messy play has many developmental benefits for children.  Children learn and develop through many types of play, but especially through unstructured and exploratory play. Through this kind of activity, children are able explore using their senses and engage their natural curiosity.  

When Melony joined the class the following week, she reported that her grandson went home at the end of the previous class beaming with excitement.  “He felt  proud of all the batches of slime he had made,” Melony said.  In the week to come, her nine year old grandson saved up all his allowance and bought all the materials to make the slime in bulk.  This included the ingredients and small containers, price tags, and labels. He put together individual slime containers, took them to school, and sold them to his friends. He made a profit and is one of GRANDcares youngest aspiring entrepreneurs! 

Melony’s fellow tutus who attended classes said they really enjoyed the class curriculum, while their grandkids enjoyed fun, supervised play! Mostly, they stated that they really enjoyed “getting to know each other”.  

A special thank you to the Greenwell Family Development Center for providing a beautiful setting for our grandfamilies and our program.  

By: Kylie Brown, Site Assistant, Maui Site 2, Big Island