Prepare Ahead for Holiday Stress

By Christine Spencer, GRANDcares Site Facilitator, Maui County

There are so many beautiful things about the holidays, yet they can be so taxing. And our intensive efforts to make them enjoyable can overwhelm us.  It is not a surprise that this time of year can bring on depression for many people. 

With a huge emphasis on “family” this time of year, feelings of stress build up well until past the New Year.  But, regardless of the season, STRESS about your FAMILY is OK and normal.  Most people feel stressed out about their families, especially during the holiday season.  The best thing to do is to PREPARE AHEAD to prevent sinking into the sea of sadness or depression.  One simple thing to do, is to remind yourself that you are not alone in feeling this way.  Most people are sensitive about their families.  A recent Popular Science article stated, “There isn’t much hard data on this, but several experts told Popular Science that many or most people feel some degree of stress surrounding their families. And though some people stress about it more than others because of their personalities or family history, the stress itself is a “very normal” feeling, says Pamela Regan, a psychology professor at California State University in Los Angeles.”

All families bring their pasts, conflicts and baggage to the dinner table for the holidays.  However, grandfamilies have their own set of unique challenges. One of the greatest concerns, is the risk of the grandparent caregivers’ health to decline.  This could be compounded with already present health concerns for grandparents, who become parents again later in their lives.  Everybody knows that stress is terrible for our health.  We can spend weeks upon weeks in our minds dreading something until it happens.  I do this too.  Then I find myself swept off shore by the undercurrent into an ocean of emotions.  What if I just stayed on the shore in the first place? And dealt with these emotions a little better?  We really can improve our ability to manage difficult emotions such as anger, guilt, and depression.  It may just take a little practice and planning.  Plan ahead to find additional support for yourself this holiday season.  There are networks of community resources available for grandparents raising their grandchildren.  GRANDcares program on Maui and Big Island have upcoming workshops for this time of year, “Managing Holiday Stress for Grandparents Raising Their Grandchildren” on December 7^th at Maui College and on January 9^th at Makawao Library from 10 a.m. -11:30 a.m.  Check out our FB page GRANDCARES HAWAII for more information and to register for our upcoming workshops.  Or email grandcaresmaui@gmail.com. Workshops on Big Island will be held on December 8th from 4:30-6:00 p.m. at a Kona Church and on December 9th from 10:00-11:30 a.m. at Ulu Wini Housing Complex.  For more information or to register call 808-987-1252.

GRANDcares program and classes are based on the Powerful Tools for Caregivers™ program, which has reached over 70,000 family caregivers in 34 states and has proven to have a positive impact.  This holiday season, forget about wrapping yourself up in depression, get out there and find the tools you need for managing stress and difficult emotions. 

The best gift of all, can be the gift to give more to yourself.   

Wishing you a stress-free holiday season!

Citation:

Ossoloa, Alexandra. Why Are Holidays With Your Family So Stressful? November 25, 2015

https://www.popsci.com/why-are-families-particularly-stressful-during-holidays

We Are Thankful!

By Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Larimer County

As Thanksgiving approaches, we at the GRANDcares Project have a lot to be thankful for!  Many great things have been happening recently that we are excited to share with you!  Looking ahead, there are also many things to be grateful about as well.

Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies Classes

Two different cohorts, one in Larimer County and the other in Adams County, have wrapped up the last of their Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies sessions. These groups were fantastic! We really enjoyed getting to know each of the grandparents, helping them learn more self-care techniques, and connecting them to a variety of community resources!  We are especially thankful for Gail Engle, one of the Larimer County class co-leaders who is also a grandparent raising a grandchild! 

Recognized in the News!

Speaking of Gail Engel, she recently won the 7Everyday Hero award from Denver7 News for her work with Grand Family Coalition! Click here to view the video. She also won a Community Service Award from Group Publishing!  See her picture on their website here. Gail’s non-profit works to help grandparents in Northern Colorado connect with each other through support groups and grandfamily-friendly events.  She now has a support group for Spanish speakers as well. Gail also works to connect grandfamilies with resources in the community.  Her experience (both personally and professionally) with the system makes Grand Family Coalition an invaluable resource for grandfamilies.  For more information, visit the website at https://grandfamilycoalition.com/.

Gail was also recently featured in a Family Leaderships Training Institute (FLTI) of Colorado article (Click here to read the article) for her work with Larimer County Alliance for Grandparents (LCAG).  Dr. Christine Fruhauf, one of the Principal Investigators for the GRANDcares Project’s research was also featured in the article.

Upcoming Classes Planned

Larimer County has an upcoming Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies evening class planned for the Spring.  It will be held on Wednesdays, January 24^th – March 7^th from 5:00 – 7:00pm at Mountain View Presbyterian Church in Loveland. Dinner will be provided from 4:30 – 5:00pm, and childcare will be available while grandparents are in class.  To register, call Jana Carson at 970-491-8204 or email at jana.carson@colostate.edu.

Additionally, the Maui County site will be hosting a Managing Holiday Stress for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren workshop on December 7 from 10:00 - 11:00 am at Maui College and they are planning another mini-workshop on stress management for grandparents early next year in upcountry Makawao. You can register by emailing Christine Spencer at grandcaresmaui@gmail.com. 

We hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Positive Youth Development on the Big Island

In South Kona, on the Big Island, Powerful Tools for Caregivers- Grandfamilies, kicked off their first cohort in June 2017. Three grandmothers or “tutus” as we say in Hawai’i participated in GRANDcares program.  

Melony Tavares, a tutu from Big Island brought her three grandkids to one of the classes. During the classes for grandparents,  there are planned 4-H activity for the grandchildren. An aspiring elementary school teacher, Kili Kunitomo, supervised the activity. Kili’s planned activity for the grandchildren was to make slime. This slime consisted of glue, contact solution, baking soda, and food coloring.  

Making slime, is considered “messy play”, and messy play has many developmental benefits for children.  Children learn and develop through many types of play, but especially through unstructured and exploratory play. Through this kind of activity, children are able explore using their senses and engage their natural curiosity.  

When Melony joined the class the following week, she reported that her grandson went home at the end of the previous class beaming with excitement.  “He felt  proud of all the batches of slime he had made,” Melony said.  In the week to come, her nine year old grandson saved up all his allowance and bought all the materials to make the slime in bulk.  This included the ingredients and small containers, price tags, and labels. He put together individual slime containers, took them to school, and sold them to his friends. He made a profit and is one of GRANDcares youngest aspiring entrepreneurs! 

Melony’s fellow tutus who attended classes said they really enjoyed the class curriculum, while their grandkids enjoyed fun, supervised play! Mostly, they stated that they really enjoyed “getting to know each other”.  

A special thank you to the Greenwell Family Development Center for providing a beautiful setting for our grandfamilies and our program.  

By: Kylie Brown, Site Assistant, Maui Site 2, Big Island

By Christine Spencer, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Maui County
      Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Larimer County

We at the GRANDcares Project celebrate and cherish grandparents every day.  Officially, the United States recognizes them each year on September 10th for National Grandparent’s Day.  Last month, throughout the country, people called their grandparents, sent cards with kind words, and planned events in their honor. Our staff in both Colorado and Hawai’i were lucky enough to be able to attend some of the festivities.

In Colorado, the city of Fort Collins organized a wonderful event at the Senior Center for grandparents and their grandchildren.  The day included live music, fun games, family photos, face painting, a petting zoo, bingo, and a cereal buffet.  Additionally, Grand Family Coalition hosted their annual grandparent’s day celebration at Boyd Lake State Park, attracting many grandparents raising their grandchildren.  Grandfamilies enjoyed spending the afternoon together eating, conversing, playing, and relaxing with each other.

In Hawai’i, GRANDcares launched National Grandparents Day with a private movie screening for grandparents raising their grandchildren on Maui.  Maui Mall and Regal Cinemas hosted the morning event in honor of all the hard work grandparents do for their families.  Later that day, grandfamilies were invited to a free and fun gamenight at the Maui College campus. There was a sea of children who played games while the grandparents “talked story.”  Information on upcoming events and workshops for grandfamilies in Hawai’i can be found on the “GrandcaresHawaii” Facebook page. 

Although it is only once a year that we come together to recognize grandparents, they are heroes every day. More and more families are turning to grandparents for support and love.  From Grandparents in Colorado to Tutu’s in Maui, all across the country, grandfamilies are an important part of our communities. 

A GRANDPARENTS “STAY-CATION” GUIDE FOR WHEN THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL

                                        (Above: Maui County GRANDcares program participants Photo:Christine Spencer)

             
The countdown for the start of school this year has begun. For grandparents this is an incredibly busy time of year.  Registering for classes, filling out paperwork, hunting for school supplies, on top of managing the day to day tasks of parenting - it can be overwhelming! If this is you, there probably hasn’t been much time to even think about what you are going to do when the kids are away at school all day. 

The beginning of the new school year is a great opportunity for a start fresh. It can be a time to focus on activities that improve your health and reduce your stress. 

Set aside some “vacation time” for yourself - the destination is your door step. Start your “stay-cation” by asking yourself a few questions such as:

What is it that I love to do but haven’t been doing lately?

When was the last time I spent time with a friend?

Where is my daily physical pain, and how can I decrease that pain?

Taking care of your mental and physical health is just as important as taking care of your grandchildren.  After the grandchildren are dropped off at school, the first few weeks may seem to pass quickly.  There are plenty of things to do around the house, to clean and organize, and to catch up from the busy summer.

But make sure you find time for relaxation.  It can be valuable to have a day with a bit of peace and quiet.  Take some time to be reflective. Go for a long walk. Take some time to re-connect with yourself and friends. Planning a “stay-cation” for yourself where you relax at home without getting caught up in housework tasks is a simple way to start planning time for yourself and your mental health. Spend time doing activities you enjoy doing at home, such as gardening or reading a book.

Feeling left out?

If you aren’t at work when the kids go to school, sometimes it can get a little lonely when the house is empty.  Don’t worry- you are not alone.  A great way to get physically active is to join free exercise related activities in the community. This will improve physical health and help build social networks.  Check out this link to find out more about fun, safe and inexpensive activities to enjoy this fall in Maui: http://www.mauinews.com/news/community-news/2017/07/fun-safe-and-inexpensive-activities-to-enjoy-with-grandchildren/

For our grandfamilies in Colorado, follow this link and download a full list of activities in Larimer County: https://www.fcgov.com/recreator/.

Aside from increasing your physical activity, there are other ways to feel more involved for instance, joining a “mommy” or parenting group.  Many “mommy” groups are open to parents and caregivers of all types, including grandparents. You can easily join the GRANDcares Hawaii Facebook Page or the Maui Mommies Group to get started.  For Larimer County, you can check out the Early Childhood Council of Larimer County Facebook page or subscribe to their listserve to receive messages about upcoming parenting classes.  These are free resources, that promote family-friendly networking and activities. Additionally, you can find out more information on helpful resources for grandfamilies on our website http://grandcares.colostate.edu/resources/.

Sending the kids back to school, is the perfect time to kick-start the healthy habits that will help you feel stronger and sharper year-round.  It’s the easiest time of year to become your best self.

For more information contact: 

Christine Spencer, GRANDCares Site Coordinator, Maui County

grandcaresmaui@gmail.com