By Christine Spencer, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Maui County
      Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Larimer County

We at the GRANDcares Project celebrate and cherish grandparents every day.  Officially, the United States recognizes them each year on September 10th for National Grandparent’s Day.  Last month, throughout the country, people called their grandparents, sent cards with kind words, and planned events in their honor. Our staff in both Colorado and Hawai’i were lucky enough to be able to attend some of the festivities.

In Colorado, the city of Fort Collins organized a wonderful event at the Senior Center for grandparents and their grandchildren.  The day included live music, fun games, family photos, face painting, a petting zoo, bingo, and a cereal buffet.  Additionally, Grand Family Coalition hosted their annual grandparent’s day celebration at Boyd Lake State Park, attracting many grandparents raising their grandchildren.  Grandfamilies enjoyed spending the afternoon together eating, conversing, playing, and relaxing with each other.

In Hawai’i, GRANDcares launched National Grandparents Day with a private movie screening for grandparents raising their grandchildren on Maui.  Maui Mall and Regal Cinemas hosted the morning event in honor of all the hard work grandparents do for their families.  Later that day, grandfamilies were invited to a free and fun gamenight at the Maui College campus. There was a sea of children who played games while the grandparents “talked story.”  Information on upcoming events and workshops for grandfamilies in Hawai’i can be found on the “GrandcaresHawaii” Facebook page. 

Although it is only once a year that we come together to recognize grandparents, they are heroes every day. More and more families are turning to grandparents for support and love.  From Grandparents in Colorado to Tutu’s in Maui, all across the country, grandfamilies are an important part of our communities. 

A GRANDPARENTS “STAY-CATION” GUIDE FOR WHEN THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL

                                        (Above: Maui County GRANDcares program participants Photo:Christine Spencer)

             
The countdown for the start of school this year has begun. For grandparents this is an incredibly busy time of year.  Registering for classes, filling out paperwork, hunting for school supplies, on top of managing the day to day tasks of parenting - it can be overwhelming! If this is you, there probably hasn’t been much time to even think about what you are going to do when the kids are away at school all day. 

The beginning of the new school year is a great opportunity for a start fresh. It can be a time to focus on activities that improve your health and reduce your stress. 

Set aside some “vacation time” for yourself - the destination is your door step. Start your “stay-cation” by asking yourself a few questions such as:

What is it that I love to do but haven’t been doing lately?

When was the last time I spent time with a friend?

Where is my daily physical pain, and how can I decrease that pain?

Taking care of your mental and physical health is just as important as taking care of your grandchildren.  After the grandchildren are dropped off at school, the first few weeks may seem to pass quickly.  There are plenty of things to do around the house, to clean and organize, and to catch up from the busy summer.

But make sure you find time for relaxation.  It can be valuable to have a day with a bit of peace and quiet.  Take some time to be reflective. Go for a long walk. Take some time to re-connect with yourself and friends. Planning a “stay-cation” for yourself where you relax at home without getting caught up in housework tasks is a simple way to start planning time for yourself and your mental health. Spend time doing activities you enjoy doing at home, such as gardening or reading a book.

Feeling left out?

If you aren’t at work when the kids go to school, sometimes it can get a little lonely when the house is empty.  Don’t worry- you are not alone.  A great way to get physically active is to join free exercise related activities in the community. This will improve physical health and help build social networks.  Check out this link to find out more about fun, safe and inexpensive activities to enjoy this fall in Maui: http://www.mauinews.com/news/community-news/2017/07/fun-safe-and-inexpensive-activities-to-enjoy-with-grandchildren/

For our grandfamilies in Colorado, follow this link and download a full list of activities in Larimer County: https://www.fcgov.com/recreator/.

Aside from increasing your physical activity, there are other ways to feel more involved for instance, joining a “mommy” or parenting group.  Many “mommy” groups are open to parents and caregivers of all types, including grandparents. You can easily join the GRANDcares Hawaii Facebook Page or the Maui Mommies Group to get started.  For Larimer County, you can check out the Early Childhood Council of Larimer County Facebook page or subscribe to their listserve to receive messages about upcoming parenting classes.  These are free resources, that promote family-friendly networking and activities. Additionally, you can find out more information on helpful resources for grandfamilies on our website http://grandcares.colostate.edu/resources/.

Sending the kids back to school, is the perfect time to kick-start the healthy habits that will help you feel stronger and sharper year-round.  It’s the easiest time of year to become your best self.

For more information contact: 

Christine Spencer, GRANDCares Site Coordinator, Maui County

grandcaresmaui@gmail.com

A Great Start!

By Gloria Sanchez, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Adams County

Recently established in the Denver North Metro Area, Adams County is the home of the  GRANDcares Project’s second Colorado site.  We are really excited about bringing the  Powerful Tools for Caregivers - Grandfamilies class and other resources to our grandparent community.   Our goal is to provide the class and training to as many grandfamilies as possible, and we were able to start our first Powerful Tools for Caregivers - Grandfamilies class on April 5th, 2017!

In order to plan this first class, we worked closely with various community agencies and organizations involved in kinship care throughout the community.  The support that we found from other kinship organizations was amazing!  They helped with everything from providing space, to referrals, to allowing us to visit their kinship groups, and in the end, we were able to recruit grandparents from different parts of the county and the surrounding cities!  

Our first cohort met every Wednesday morning for 6 weeks, and it was a remarkably engaging and delightful group.  Together we talked about the many challenges that grandparents  face when they become the primary caretakers of their grandchildren..  For example, often times, grandparents find themselves on an emotional rollercoaster, unable to identify how they really feel, or they find that making important decisions and having difficult conversations can be very stressful.  Taking on new and different roles and responsibilities can also quickly become burdensome, and overwhelming.  This can all easily lead to losing sight of oneself and not communicating one’s feelings and needs, hence burning out.

During our 6 weeks together, we also learned various stress-management tools, emphasizing and practicing the importance of taking care of us.  We were optimistic when we expressed and learned from our emotions, set goals and put our Action Plans into effect, and utilized our effective communication strategies.   My co-facilitator, Ana Bustillos and myself were very blessed with the commitment, dedication, willingness, interaction, and responsiveness of the participants of the first Adams County Cohort.  We are very satisfied with the outcome of this first cohort and eager to start registration for the Fall groups and those that will follow.  

All in all, we are off to a great start!

Larimer County Summer Resources for Grandfamilies

By Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator, Larimer County

The GRANDcares Project is working to update and increase the amount of resources that we have to offer grandparents raising grandchildren.  During this process, we at the Larimer County office have discovered a few great resources for grandparents to utilize, especially over the summer when grandchildren are out of school.  Some of the following programs are ongoing while others are specific events.  Some of the programs geared towards grandfamilies while others are open to children from all family situations.  We hope that this list will be helpful for grandfamilies, providing fun for grandchildren and respite for grandparents.  Feel free to contact us if you have any questions!

Fundango through Kids at Heart
This program provides low-cost respite care for foster, kinship, and adoptive families.  They host regular three-hour events where children can go play games, make crafts, and have fun.  They also provide a camp once a year.  For more information, go to their website at www.kidsatheartfundango.org

Nature Rides with the Growing Project and Kids at Heart
Three free events for children 7-13 years old.  Children bike along the Poudre River and learn about the natural areas in Fort Collins.  (Particiants can bring their own bike or use one of the bikes provided.)You can register here: http://www.signupgenius.com/go/5080949aba82fa2ff2-nature

Colorado Respite Coalition
This organization provides vouchers for families (including grandfamilies) to use for respite services.  Currently in Larimer County, the voucher is accepted at Respite Inc. which provides respite for grandchildren with disabilities.  Go here to fill out an application: http://coloradorespitecoalition.org/resources/family/respite-vouchers.php

Laramie River Valley Rendezvous
This organization offers a free, week-long camp for at-risk youth ages 13 – 16 years old. During the week, youth participate in hiking, biking, horseback riding, and white water rafting.  Afterwards, the youth participate in a 10-week mentoring program which emphasized community involvement through service, academic achievement, and life skills training. The camp takes place from July 10 – 15, so head to the website ASAP to sign up: www.LRVR.org

Salvation Army Wilderness Camp
This is a free camp for anyone ages 13 to 15.  The camp runs from July 24 – 29 and still has openings.  If you are interested, email Lilia at lilia.fernandes@usw.salvationarmy.org with the name and age of your grandchild and a number to reach you.

Little People's Landing (locations in Loveland and Fort Collins)
They provide fun, themed Parent's Night Out events on different Saturdays during the month from 5:00pm to Midnight. Grandparents must register their grandchildren ahead of time. Contact Jana at jana.carson@colostate.edu for a coupon to try this resource for free.  Go to the website for more information: https://kidslovelpl.com/pno.html

BASE Camp
This organization provides full or part day childcare over the summer and during the school year.  They offer reduced fees and scholarships, and you only pay for the days you use.  Go to http://www.mybasecampkids.org/ for more information.

KidsTown
This center provides drop-in child care for $7 - $10/hour.  Contact Jana (jana.carson@colostate.edu) for a coupon good for one free hour.

GRANDcares teams participate in the CYFAR Professional Development Workshop

Last month, GRANDcares team members from Colorado State University and the University of Hawai’i at Manoa, participated in CYFAR’s Professional Development Workshop. The GRANDcares project would not be possible without the generous support from a grant from CYFAR-SCP (Children Youth and Families At Risk- Sustainable Community Projects.) GRANDcares project is a proud recipient of a CYFAR grant that will allow our programming to reach families through 2019 in both Colorado and Hawai’i states.

The CYFAR-SCP grant is on behalf of the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA)- National Institute of Food and Agriculture (NIFA).  This year, CYFAR commenced twenty-five years of work and community service, with programming that now reaches over 600 communities. CYFAR grants span over 47 states in the United States, with the singular goal of having a lasting impact on the children, youth, families and communities they serve.

CYFAR’s Professional Development Workshop 2017, offered a multi-disciplinary blend of workshops, speakers and presentations; focused on maximizing the success of CYFAR programs at large. GRANDcares team members were involved in a collection of classes with topics that ranged from; building community partnerships to implement evidence-based prevention programs, communication strategies for increasing program participation and best practices for collection, assessment and evaluation of program data.    

We would like to take this moment to extend our heartfelt thank you, to the people who make CYFAR-SCP funding possible for GRANDcares program and the families we serve.

                       Above: GRANDcares Team Members at CYFAR Professional Development Workshop 2017

The Importance of Self-Care

Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator

Grandparents often report that once they start raising their grandchildren, they do not have time for themselves anymore.  Caring for themselves and doing the things they once enjoyed tend to be moved to the backburner as their lives begin to revolve around the grandchildren.  While putting grandchildren first is important, grandparents’ lack of self-care can end up being detrimental for both the grandparent and the grandchild.  Stress and negative emotions can begin to build, resulting in physically and emotionally distressed grandparents.  Unfortunately, grandchildren often feel this distress and the negativity can spill over into grandparent – grandchild interactions.  Grandchildren can become distressed as a result.

This distress helps indicate how important it is for grandparents to practice self-care.  When grandparents practice self-care, this not only benefits themselves, but the benefits often translate into better care for their grandchildren. Rather than interacting with grandchildren from a burnt-out place of frustration and exhaustion, well cared-for grandparents are able to better access and share the joy, positivity, and energy they receive from self-care when interacting with their grandchildren. 

Another way to conceptualize the importance of grandparent self-care is through the analogy of airplane oxygen masks.  On airplanes, flight attendants always state that parents should put their masks on first before assisting children with theirs.  Airlines are not suggesting that they value the lives of parents more than children, but rather, in order for us to help other people, we must make sure that we have helped ourselves first.  A parent who faints from lack of oxygen halfway through putting on their child’s mask has become unable to help both herself and the child; however, if the parent puts her mask on first, she can easily help the child.

How do we avoid getting to this negative and unhealthy place?  Or, if we’re already there, how do we move beyond it?  There are many different tools and strategies that grandparents can utilize to avoid this stress and negativity. One of the first steps is to recognize that grandparent caregivers need care too.  This recognition can help grandparents give themselves permission to seek the things they personally need to feel good without feeling guilty.  This recognition helps grandparents remember that their own needs are important too! Meeting even some of these needs can help grandparents regain some of their joy, positivity, and energy, making them feel happier and healthier.

Kinship Caregivers as Leaders

Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator

            In January 2017, seven people attended the GRANDcares Powerful Tools for Caregivers (PTC) Co-Leader Training in Loveland.  For two full days, participants learned how to teach the PTC – Grandfamilies curriculum. Among the seven people at the training were two very special participants: Gail Engel and Rhonda Sharp.  Gail and Rhonda are both kinship caregivers. Gail cares for her grandson and Rhonda cares for her nephews.  Both had already taken the PTC – Grandfamilies class as participants, and inspired by the class, they decided to train as facilitators to be able to teach others in similar situations. Gail and Rhonda have completed the leadership training, and now Rhonda is signed up to co-lead our next PTC – Grandfamilies class starting March 30^th.  Gail is in line to teach a future class in the fall as well.  We were so inspired by these two women that we decided to interview them about their experiences with PTC and their desire to move forward as leaders. 

Jana: Why did you decide to get trained as a PTC  – Grandfamilies co-leader?

Gail: I am so passionate about what PTC taught me.  From the very beginning, when I first learned about PTC, I thought it was something that grandparents needed.  In my job, I work with these families, and I have the experience.  I know their stories, and I could see how families could benefit from the class.

Rhonda:  I wanted to share what I learned in the class and to help other people see that they’re not alone. The class helped me a lot, and I wanted to pass it forward.

Jana: What did you learn by getting trained as a facilitator for PTC that you might not have learned as a participant?

Gail: Anytime you put your foot in the other shoe, you see a different side of something.  When I was in the class, I only took things out of the class that pertained to me, but as a leader, you realize that while it might not pertain exactly to me, it could pertain to other people. 

Rhonda: People are coming from so many different backgrounds that you have to be understanding and open.  When you’re taking the class it’s about you, but when you teach it, it’s about the people in your class.

Jana: What are your thoughts about PTC alumna getting trained in PTC and then helping to lead these classes for other grandparents?

Gail: It’s a really great thing because they understand the situation of the grandparents in the class.  One of the biggest issues grandparents face is outside people not understanding their situation.  Until you’ve walked in those shoes, you really don’t get it.  Having a grandparent leading the class helps you know that somebody else gets it.

Rhonda: I can see it being really hard in many cases for grandparents to put one more thing on their plate, but this is also really important.  Grandparents in the class can trust that the things I’m teaching work because I am there applying them to my life too.  We are the ones in the trenches, so we understand what it’s like better than anybody else.  We have practical experience with the tools and skills the class teaches, and we know what it’s really like.  When I talk about stuff, I’m actually living it too!

Jana: What do you hope that other grandparents raising grandchildren will take away from the class?

Gail: Stop blaming yourself and thinking that you’re the only one who has made these mistakes and who experiences these things.  When something goes wrong, we stick our heads in the sand and think that we have to live with it, but really I didn’t screw up, someone else did. I also hope grandparents learn that they aren’t alone and that they make friendships that they take outside the class.

Rhonda: You need support, and you’re not in this alone.  So often you feel isolated and that we don’t have anyone to support us.  We feel like we can’t really talk about it with other people because they won’t get it or they’re judging us.  But there are groups available where you can find other people who understand and who you can laugh with about your overwhelming situation.  Also, a lot of grandparents feel guilty because they feel overwhelmed and burdened---and you think you’re not supposed to feel that way about someone you love.  You can get sucked in this role of being the martyr, but rather think, “Maybe I can do this.”

Jana: What has changed for you since taking the PTC class?

Gail: Taking a nap! I gave myself permission to say to my grandson that he can play on his tablet and that I’m going to take a nap.  I gave myself permission to say it’s okay and that I don’t have to beat myself up about it.  I’m a better person because I’ve allowed myself to have my own quality time and because I’m doing something for myself.  This is Me Time, and I’m going to enjoy it.  This then gives more meaning to the other things I do. 

Rhonda: The goal I made in the class was to get my passion and joy of life back. I’m not fully there yet, but I’ve put things in motion. I used the tools from the class to get resources and get support, and I’ve got more hope that I’ll get there.  Finding a supportive community has also helped a lot.

We really appreciate Rhonda and Gail talking with us about their experiences with the PTC – Grandfamilies class, both as participants and leaders.  They are invaluable members of our team, and we appreciate their courage to lead this class and their commitment to their fellow kinship caregivers. You are in inspiration to us all!

If after reading this, you are thinking that you might be interested in leading or participating in an upcoming PTC – Grandfamilies class, please feel free to contact me (Jana Carson) by phone at 970-491-8204 or by email at Jana.Carson@colostate.edu.