Deb and Rhonda

By Jana Carson, GRANDcares Site Coordinator

Grandchildren can bring joy and wonder to a grandparent’s life.  Yet, grandparents who are raising their grandchildren are likely to experience a variety of hardships as they take care of the many needs of their grandchildren while also attending to their personal needs.  In an effort to help grandparents better attend to their self-care, the GRANDcares Project offers a six-week class called Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies.  After concluding a recent class in Colorado, two participants shared what it is like raising grandchildren, their reasons for participating in the class, and aspects of the program that they found especially meaningful.

Deb Kilde

Deb Kilde raises her four grandchildren who range in age from ten to 13.  She finds the experience to be very rewarding in that she has been able to better appreciate small moments such her grandchildren running into her room early in the morning on Thanksgiving to say, “Happy Thanksgiving!”  She might have taken moments like this for granted when raising her own children.  Yet, there have been difficulties as well.  Deb works hard to ensure that her grandchildren do well in school, and she spends a great deal of time helping them with homework and talking with teachers at their schools.  Additionally, she works to provide for her grandchildren financially. Deb’s busy days working and caring for the many needs of her grandchildren have caused Deb to put her own needs aside. Many of the things she needed to do for herself were moved to the bottom of her priority list, and she felt drained.

Deb joined the Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies class as a way to engage in self-care while surrounding herself with open, understanding, and supportive people. Throughout the class, Deb gained a new perspective on the importance of caring for herself, and she felt that she was being pointed in a positive direction. She now sees the importance of self-care and feels empowered to take control of her life to do things to help her feel better. While she continues to be just as busy as before, she finds ways to carve out small moments for herself throughout the day while doing one big thing for herself each week.  This results in peace of mind that was lacking in her life before. Deb appreciated this class, and she states that it is “worth taking.”

Rhonda Sharp

Rhonda Sharp is a great aunt caring for three children ages seven, eight, and ten.  She was elated when she was finally able to adopt all three children. However, this role has come with many harsh realities and difficulties for which she was not prepared. She found it difficult to meet with clients for her job or spend time with friends her age, as she many times needed to bring along the children.  Finding a babysitter was also extremely difficult as her children had specific needs due to past trauma that required someone well-trained.  As finances became tighter, a well-trained babysitter became unaffordable, and as a result, Rhonda began to feel hopeless, stressed, and stuck in a place of negativity.

Rhonda participated in the Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies class as a way to improve her quality of life and gain some new tools for this purpose.  She learned that it was okay to feel what she was feeling and that others are also struggling with similar issues. This helped her to feel understood and accepted while gaining supportive friendships with others in the class. She learned tools for overcoming stress and taking care of herself such as positive self-talk, breathing, laughing, exercising, and making a plan to de-stress and find joy.  She explained that after the class ended, she replaced the two-hour block for the class each week with “Take Care of Me” time.  She also saw how the self-care tools she learned in the class could benefit her children, and she has worked to incorporate them into new family habits.  Although Rhonda says that she still wakes up some days feeling as if her plate is overflowing, she has a different mindset now.  She is empowered with the knowledge, tools, resources, and social support needed to not only continue through the difficulties but to also find the joys and positives in her life.  Rhonda was so inspired by this class that she wants to share the information with others in her situation.  She will soon be trained to help teach future Powerful Tools for Caregivers – Grandfamilies classes.